A QUALITATIVE STUDY: SELF ESTEEM IN RELATION TO DATING VIOLENCE IMPACT

Negative self-esteem makes them vulnerable to becoming victims of Dating Violence (DV). Violence in dating is a worrying problem that arises in today's youth. The impact of those experiencing it also varies from mild to severe. This study aimed to analyze the impact of dating violence on adolescents in Yogyakarta. This is qualitative case study research. The research subjects were selected based on certain criteria, namely adolescents aged 18-24 years and women living in Yogyakarta who had experienced dating violence and had an impact on their psychology with a snowball sampling technique. The data collection technique used is structured in-depth interviews. The research instrument used was an interview guide to key informants and triangulation to informants' friends. The validity test was carried out through source triangulation. The two informants experienced psychological violence in their dating relationship in the form of an easily angry partner, berated, excessively jealous, limiting the relationships, manipulative, and prohibited from looking attractive and taking care of themselves. These forms of psychological violence impact self-esteem, such as the emergence of a sense of insecurity, liking to compare, always feeling like a failure, low self-esteem, interfering with daily activities, and causing trauma for both informants. Psychological violence in dating received by the two informants impacts their self-esteem.


INTRODUCTION
The period between childhood and adulthood known as adolescence is characterized by changes in body/physical, mind, emotion, and society (Gómez-López et al., 2019;Pratama & Diana, 2020).In addition to physical and emotional changes, adolescents will also experience social changes in which teenagers will establish intensive friendships both with the same gender and with the opposite gender or commonly referred to as courtship (Mayawati, 2009).Dating is also a process of introduction between two people which is usually in a series of stages of finding a match to the next life which is usually called marriage (Evendi, 2018).
Dating requires two individuals to be able to adjust to each other.Not a few dating relationships are colored by cases of violence, especially those committed by men (Savitri et al., 2015).The violence experienced usually consists of several types, such as physical, mental/psychic, economic and sexual attacks.From a physical point of view, the violence obtained is usually in the form of hitting, slapping, kicking, grabbing, pinching and so on.From a sexual point of view, such as groping without consent, kissing, and forcing sexual intercourse in economic terms, the violence can take the form of borrowing money without being returned, always asking for a treat and so on.Then psychological violence such as humiliation, humiliation, cursing in public, excessive jealousy, coercion and others (Sari, 2018).
Data from the Indonesian Family Planning Association (PKBI) Yogyakarta explains that out of 125 respondents consisting of 75 women and 50 men, 84% have experienced violence.A survey conducted by PKBI Yogyakarta in 2017 proved that most teenagers in Yogyakarta had experienced violence.Psychological violence is the most frequently experienced form of violence, which is 64%.In another study, it was stated that the most common dating violence occurred was psychological violence (21-39%) (Chen et al., 2020), then physically (9-17%) and sexual violence around 33% (Astriani & Satiningsih, 2021).
Psychological violence is a type of domestic violence that has a serious impact on the victim.Psychological violence during dating is a form of non-physical violence that has a manipulative nature and is carried out intentionally aimed at dominating, controlling, threatening, and limiting the relationship of the partner (Andayu et al., 2019).Psychological impact itself is the influence that arises as a result of a response to a stimulus, it can be positive or negative with effects that arise directly or indirectly (Ayu et al., 2021).Adolescents who have experienced dating violence have psychological impacts and will affect their lives in the future.Starting to be disturbed by social activities, daily activities, self-confidence and self-esteem that they have had (Astriani & Satiningsih, 2021).
Self-esteem or self-esteem is a basic human need that is needed to contribute to normal life processes so that they can survive.Lack of self-esteem possessed by individuals can affect their psychology, because positive self-esteem can affect the physical health of individuals (Angelina et al., 2021;Prameswari & Nurchayati, 2021).Self-esteem has two components, namely feelings of personal competence and feelings of personal self-esteem.If a person can respect himself then the individual can accept himself as well.On the other hand, if self-esteem tends to be negative, the individual will become insecure, feel failed, always criticize himself, decrease productivity, be easily offended, and withdraw from the social environment (Bachtiar & Hartini, 2021).
Many researches related to dating violence have been carried out but only focus on physical and sexual violence (Chigiji et al., 2018;A. W.-M. Choi et al., 2015), while on psychological violence whose impact is not visible and does not leave a mark, it is still rarely carried out and paid attention to, thus making individuals and the surrounding community less alert and aware of other forms of violence.Psychological (Goodson & Hayes, 2021).Therefore, the researcher wanted to examine the psychological impact on self-esteem in adolescent girls in Yogyakarta.

METHOD
The research method used is a qualitative method with a case study approach (Sugiyono, 2015).The research subjects were selected based on certain criteria, namely adolescents aged 18-24 years, women, living in Yogyakarta, had experienced dating violence and had an impact on their psychology.In addition, if after conducting in-depth interviews, the saturation point has not been found, then sampling is carried out again using the snowball sampling technique.The data collection technique used is structured in-depth interviews.The research instrument used was an interview guide which was used as a reference when conducting in-depth interviews with key informants and triangulating with informants' friends.The validity test was carried out through triangulation where the researcher conducted in-depth interviews with 2 key informant friends.In addition, before conducting interviews, informants and triangulant are required to fill out an informed consent form.

No
Subjects Code Note 1.

RESULTS AND DISCUSSION
The results of the in-depth interviews conducted with informants show that youth has a significant role in the occurrence of ADV.The unstable emotions possessed by adolescents trigger the emergence of violent behavior.Problems that are small at first can become big because they have not been able to find solutions to their problems and tend to prioritize emotions.ADV cases in adolescents show low emotional intelligence on both sides.When a person can control his emotions, there will be no violence, and he can avoid actions that are detrimental to both parties (Mutia Tribuana Chansa, Syamsulhuda BM, Besar Tirto Husodo, 2017).Adolescents often experience psychological violence, namely swearing, excessive jealousy, activity restrictions, possessiveness, manipulativeness, overcontrol, reading private chats and temperamental (Arcani et al., 2021).The characteristics of the respondents in this study are presented in Table 2. Respondents in this study had an age in the range of 20-22 years who were late teens and were still studying at the 1st level.Based on their place of residence, 75% of them lived together with their families.

Types of Violence experienced by teenagers
Based on the results of field observations, the two informants indicated that the violence they experienced was a type of psychological violence.Based on the confession, the informant has a partner who is temperamental and when they are very emotional they will berate and use dirty words to demean, even when their partner's emotions are very high, the perpetrators of KDP can throw objects or objects around them.Couples tend to do this via chat or telephone, very rarely in person and in public.
"I think he is very temperamental, for example a little late, not very long, but he got angry (I1).Yes, he is a person who when he is angry, he immediately explodes.I just feel sad, why am I angry all the time, then he is also scolded by him and even a lot of curses are thrown at me" (I2).
In addition, the intensity is also very frequent, it can be every day when a problem occurs, they disagree and accept the behavior.This type of violence is commonly referred to as verbal and emotional violence which can be the most destructive type of power and control, where one partner lowers his partner's self-esteem by various accusations, bad calls, destroying special objects, using threatening and intimidating stares.
In addition, key informants also have excessive jealousy.Excessive jealousy usually arises when the informant is close to another man, so that their partner will forbid them to be close to the man and if they are already close, chat, or reply to messages, their partner will be angry and the worst will be scolded.use harsh words.
"I am very limited in playing with him, both with girls and boys are very limited ... (I1), he is a very possessive type so I can't be close to my classmates (I2)" Dating violence includes physical, psychological, emotional, and sexual violence.In this study, it was found that victims felt dating violence was psychological, such as being verbally abused, belittled by partners, called bad names, and threatened and intimidated.This form of psychological violence is often not realized by teenagers and is considered something that usually happens in romantic relationships.Adolescent tolerance at the beginning of getting violence by a partner during courtship becomes the entry point for becoming a victim of violence in the future (Mumford et al., 2020).
The violent treatment teenagers get from their partners is obtained through chat or telephone, and it is rarely done directly and in public.Chat or telephone is part of Electronic Communication Technology (ECT) which teenagers widely use.ECT abuse by adolescents can have a negative impact on adolescent romantic relationships, such as mediating unhealthy relationships in adolescent romantic relationships, harassment, and violence (Hinduja & Patchin, 2021;Stonard et al., 2017).

The impact of psychological violence on self-esteem
Based on the results of research conducted psychological violence received by the informants had an impact on their psyche.Like I1 who withdraws from his friends, becomes irritable, questions whether he deserves such behavior and is traumatized to start a relationship with another man.In addition, according to T1, I1 often asks him for reassurance before doing something, especially on new things, I1 is not sure to do it and I1 often cries when he remembers the violence that happened to him.

"…I still like to ask myself whether I deserve to be treated this way (according to T1's explanation). He likes to ask for validation about what he has done with him is right or not, has he ever felt that he doesn't deserve to be loved by a guy again (T1)"
Acceptance is different from Informant 2 (I2).For I2, he did not realize that the treatment he received during dating had a negative impact on him.I2 thinks that he is only sad because of his love and affection for his partner.Meanwhile, according to T2, the psychologically violent behavior that has been accepted by I2 has had a huge impact on I2 and even on his closest friends.T2 also explained that I2 becomes sensitive, gets angry easily and cries when he is having problems with his girlfriend.I2 also feels insecure and low self-esteem and likes to compare himself with others, including T2.

"…so it seems to have an impact on us, so he is sensitive, easily angry, just keeps his aura negative. If you blame yourself, yes, sis, what's wrong with that guy's eyes? If you believe in yourself, I think this will also have an effect, Ms. Because he likes to compare himself with other people" (T2).
One type of ADV is psychological violence, whose impact can be severe.In general, the impact of psychological violence can be fear, confusion, depression, the feeling of powerlessness, lack of confidence and hopelessness (Andayu et al., 2019), panic and anxiety attacks, low self-esteem (Taquette & Monteiro, 2019;Van Ouytsel et al., 2017), always blaming oneself, and often daydreaming and unfocused (Astriani & Satiningsih, 2021).Violence in dating correlates with a decrease in adolescent self-esteem, where those who initially have high self-esteem become low due to receiving various forms of violence, especially psychological violence (Bolívar-Suárez et al., 2022).Violence in dating does not only have an impact on oneself but also has an impact on other people, such as close friends of the victims.Adolescents who get ADV can indirectly influence other people, such as friends or people around them (Pattiradjawane et al., 2019).
At first, someone hopes that they will find happiness by being in a dating relationship.Instead, they experience ADV in the relationship and cause various kinds of trauma, so they are ultimately unhappy and decide to end the relationship (Julianto et al., 2020).The process of acceptance of ADV is obtained when victims try to think positively about the behavior they receive.These thoughts arise from several factors, such as love, affection, and dependence on partners (Praptiningsih & Putra, 2021).Getting out of a toxic relationship is not easy, especially with the various psychological traumas that result from that relationship.However, not a few also want to end their relationship with a partner who has toxic behavior because they can no longer stand the constant treatment they receive and want to move on to a better direction (Alfiani, 2020).
The reason for asking his partner to break up was due to disagreements that never found a solution, and also, his partner did not understand the busyness of the informant as a new student.However, the partner did not immediately accept the request.The partner did not want to be dumped and begged tearfully but no longer wanted to continue their relationship.Edwards in Kurnianingsih (Kurnianingsih & Taufik, 2020) states that everyone who has experienced ADV goes through various stages to decide to end the relationship.Whether the victim escapes from the perpetrator must undergo an internal process.The process of forgiveness (forgiveness) by victims of violence becomes important in self-acceptance, not to hold grudges against the perpetrator (Sholikhah & Masykur, 2020).Forgiveness is an alternative that can be used to help victims of dating violence recover from their situation so that victims can be cognitively better at dealing with stress.It can also affect a person's psychological well-being (Natasya & Susilawati, 2020).

Ignorance of parents
Based on the results of the research that has been done, the two informants did not ask for permission and notify their parents if they are in a relationship with other people (dating).The informants also did not tell their parents about the incidents of violence they experienced.I1's mother asked if I1 ever had a boyfriend but after that the mother did not bring up the problem again.
"When I broke up, I asked why I broke up, I1 answered because it was toxic and his girlfriend was possessive, angry, jealous, that's the problem with young people, usually when they're dating.In the end, I just told him to be patient, right, it's not good for him" (Old Man 1) While I2's parents did not know it at all.Because I2 didn't tell his parents that he was in a relationship.I2 and his parents are not very close, to just ask general questions only through short messages or telephone because I2's parents are busy working and for several years I2 and his parents are not at home anymore so the two rarely see each other.
"...if he calls or WAs with me, he also never tells about his relationship with his girlfriend, it must be just a matter of college and his boarding life as usual and I also don't ask anything about his girlfriend because I think that they are dating properly or not weird" (I2's Parents) The ignorance of families, especially parents, about their children's condition can be caused by a lack of communication and openness between parents and adolescents.The family is essential in developing children's resilience to face life's problems.The family also creates stability, loyalty, care, and support for its members.Families with a good role will make family members develop naturally so that a happy and harmonious family can be formed (Mustika & Tellys Corliana, 2022).
The family is an important environment for adolescent development (Clarke-Stewart & Dunn, 2012).Mesra in Ayu (Ayu & Triyani, 2020) said that adolescent development would be optimal in a harmonious family.However, many adolescents seek attention and affection from other people, including through partners or boyfriends, because they do not get this from their parents.In addition, parents who rarely spend time with their children make teenagers more comfortable hanging out outside the home in hopes of getting attention.Adolescents who have an inharmonious relationship with their parents are more at risk of becoming victims of violence both physically and psychologically with the opposite sex (H.J. Choi et al., 2022).
Previous studies have shown that the family plays an important role in socializing the attitudes and behavior of adolescents.In contrast, communication and openness between parents and adolescents are predicted to protect adolescents against risky behavior (H.J. Choi et al., 2017;Pettigrew et al., 2017).Communication between parents and children is important to prevent their children from becoming victims, including dating violence and sexual behavior (Febryana & Aristi, 2019;Shibi et al., 2020).Positive family communication can protect adolescents against risky behavior both as perpetrators and victims (Gustina, 2017).Adolescents with positive care in the family can protect adolescents from committing violence or being victims of violence (Mumford et al., 2016).Fostering an overall healthy and non-hostile family environment so that open communication between parents and adolescents can lead to positive outcomes (Lu et al., 2021).

CONCLUSIONS AND SUGGESTIONS
The types of psychological violence carried out by pairs of informants 1 and 2 are in the form of insults and insults, often scolding, excessive jealousy, and limiting relationships.In addition, I1 also received other types of psychological violence in the form of a manipulative partner, often blaming, regulating how to dress and make up, and physically insulting.The change in attitude experienced by the informants after getting psychological violence, namely, in I1 is the trauma to get close again with other men and start a new relationship, lack self-confidence and feel worthless.The impact that is felt is that he becomes more insecure, has low self-esteem, likes to compare himself with other people who are considered to have more plus values than himself.Informants finally decided to end their relationship with a partner who committed psychological violence when they felt the relationship could no longer be continued.They have started to feel the negative impact of the relationship, besides that their partner cannot change his attitude and still treats them harshly.